Whats a guy to do.......

@ the moment, according to mahangu im toxicaly disinhibited. With the help of course of my trusty glass of vodka and red bull. Currently i've been reduced to a puddle of tears care of my so called 'girlfriend'. I guess the term drifting apart could be applied to what our 'relationship' is experiencing at the moment. Those who read my last post should know that she stood me up on saturday on the grounds of family problems and to deal with that i've turned to alcohol. To put it bluntly I haven't been sober since. She hasn't called or messaged. Well if you count messages that just say 'good morning......' or 'good night' actual messages then I might be wrong. But if she could take time from her busy schedule and open up to me and tell me whats actualy going on then I might understand. Doesn't she know that im goin crazy over the fact that I haven't seen her for more than a week now! She is the only good thing thats happened in my life so far...... At least that's what I used to think. Now i can safely say that this is the lowest point in my life..... Some of you reading this post might think what a stupid fuck im being. I can't help it. So many posts have showed up on kottu about theraputic blog posting, bare with me readers this is one of them. God! i don't know how long this is gonna last....... am I eventually gonna give up on on our "realationship" Or am I gonna tough it out and see what happens? Give me a few more days, 2 bottles of smirnoff, and a 6 pack of red bulls and I'll get back to you. Wow I've really fallen head over heels over this girl. If she only knew what i'm going through. Comment if you want..... I'll probably regret i posted this tomorrow morning! God wish i had a joint right now. Which reminds me i should get more weed as I'm running low. Mental note: Call suranga tomorrow and get more WEED!!!! Ok .....good night Sri Lanka. Im gonna wait till the three cans of red bull i drank ware off then try and get some sleep..... Ciao...

thephatone